The Intimacy Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings enormous meaning and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with someone we are brought in to incredibly tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to image source produce feelings), makings us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective sensations of destination, excitement, this page wellness, nearness, and love .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably would not confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in city locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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