The Intimacy Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone here (increases libido), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to extremely difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective feelings of destination, excitement, love, wellness, and closeness .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states moved here that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in urbane areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North adds, "I read this post here presume this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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